Syd and School

When we moved here, I wrote a note to Sydney's new teacher-to-be, explaining that Syd has Sensory Processing issues and anxiety. I outlined what unusual behaviors (slapping her hands over her ears at a loud noise, difficulty sitting still in group situations, being bothered by noises that others might not even be able to hear, avoidance of eye contact, etc.) she might expect to see in a normal classroom day, tried to explain why Syd might act the way she did and offered some suggestions to help her get through the day. I also mentioned that while there may be real reasons why Syd is behaving inappropriately, we did not expect her to get a pass. She would simply have to find a way to behave in an appropriate way, even if something was bothering her.

Okay, so that might have been overkill, because the school kind of got cold feet about whether they were the right fit and could meet her needs. I can understand that. But I explained that the accomodations I was asking for were not going to be that big of a deal. They wanted to assess her. I brought her in. She was all.over.the.place and talking non-stop and super anxiety filled. Still, she surprised them with her abilities. She did everything they asked of her and did it well. She interacted one on one beautifully.

They met with me and her teacher and the Kindergarten teacher and said that they would like to have a trial period and see how it went. They were gracious and kind. And it was a good thing because I was on the edge of losing it. I know my girl. And I know how loving she is. And how smart. And I know that she is so brave and willing to try, even when things are scary or hard. She's braver than I am, because I wanted to scoop her up and take her home where she could be appreciated as the gift she is. (Not that she doesn't drive me crazy on a daily basis too, you understand.)

So we are giving it a shot. And it is going well. The school uses the Abeka curriculum that Syd used at ACA and that was one of the main reasons I wanted here there. She is doing well. They tell me she is so happy all day and that makes ME so happy. Something interesting her teacher told me on Friday, at the end of her first week -- " Sydney has a really hard time sitting still during our group lesson times. She's bouncing a little and sits on the outside of the group. She doesn't look at me very often and I didn't think she was paying attention. But then I gave the class instructions for the work we were going to do and sent them to the tables to do it. And low and behold, she went and sat down and knew exactly what to do. She WAS listening." I love her teacher. She has such a sweet spirit. When she prayed before we started that meeting I talked about above, I thought I would burst out crying because I could tell she had so much wisdom and compassion. I will meet with them at the end of this week and hope to hear they've decided to "keep her." It looks that way. I'm glad, even if it is about 4 times as much $$$ as ACA was. ;-)

Okay, so the evaluation... or I guess it was technically a Child Study Committee meeting.
Present were an SLP, a school psychologist, an RN, a social worker and someone from the special ed office. They were all very nice and professional. Sydney and Brenna played at a little table alongside the conference table where the adults were seated. They were all asking me questions and at the same time, observing Syd's play and interactions with her sister. I told them she had been previously evaluated by the under 3 program in Oklahoma and had the report from the OT who she saw after that, which included her Battelle scores. I explained that she had finished that summer of OT and had made remarkable gains after that, but that she still needed some classroom accommodations in order to do well in school.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, they said she does not qualify for an IEP because she doesn't show any signs of delayed development currently. Of course she walked in there and played like a little angel. No sign of the little girl I'd seen in the school office 2 weeks ago and most days since. They kept exclaiming over her vocabulary (and Brenna's - they all about fell out on the floor when I said she'd just turned 3 the week before.) They did not deny she had issues or say they weren't a big deal. They just said that if they aren't affecting her academically, or she doesn't have a delay in some other area (speech, etc.) then she doesn't need the IEP. They said she just needs a supportive environment, suggested that she'd probably do better in a smaller, private school like she's in, and said that the accomodations it seems like I would need to ask for are "not significant." Which is true. I don't feel like they are over the top things that we're asking -- for her need for movement to not be ignored or reprimanded. To inform her about changes in schedules and warn her about fire drills and such. To change things in the environment that might be distracting her so much that she can't concentrate (like ticking clocks that drive her crazy.)

They said that the door to help for Sydney, should she need it, is never closed. Just that at this time, they don't feel she needs to be under any formal plan. And that if her issues ever start to affect her academically or whatever, that we can revisit an IEP or whatever is appropriate. So I guess I'm happy about it, overall. It's nice to hear that your child is not affected enough to qualify for help. I am grateful that we are in a place where we surely should be able to find her some private occupational therapy. BUT, on the other hand, some small part of me wants someone to acknowledge how overwhelming and hard life is sometimes for her. And a paper that says, "It's not her fault. She's really trying. Be supportive and kind to her and she will knock your socks off." LOL